(an excerpt from, Lead Us To A Place ~ your spiritual journey through life’s seasons – Andrew Pacholyk MS L.Ac)
“Forgiveness is the healing of wounds caused by another”. It is our choice to learn to let go of a past wrong and it is our choice to no longer allow ourselves to be hurt by it. Remove your ego from the equation. Now look at the situation. Does it appear differently? Understanding how to forgive is a well learned lesson, which will only make you stronger. So why should we forgive?
“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
In his article, “Forgiveness, What Its For?”, adapted from Larry James’s books, he writes: “Forgiveness works! It is often difficult, AND it works! “Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do FOR someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple.
Simply identify the situation to be forgiven and ask yourself: “Am I willing to waste my energy further on this matter?” If the answer is “No,” then that’s it! All is forgiven.”
“If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.” ~ Mother Theresa
“I ask for clarity to see,
and bless those persecuting me.
Allow me to forgive myself,
for holding on, release the past
So I can move on forward to
that which keeps me strong and true.”
~ Andrew Pacholyk MS L.Ac
A Checklist for Forgiveness
√ Forgiveness is for YOUR peace of mind.
√ Forgiveness helps to heal our emotional wound.
√ We are not perfect.
√ By holding on to this, we continue to be the victim of this circumstance.
√ Those who are weak, can never forgive.
√ When you forgive, you change your future.
√ Forgiveness offers you another chance for a new start
√ If perfection was possible, there would be no need for love or forgiveness.
√ The final acceptance in your life, is forgiveness.
√ Why are you loosing sleep over transgressions, that another may not even know they committed?
√ Forgiveness is making peace with yourself, as much as it is releasing the offense against you.
Create A Forgiveness Workbook
This Forgiveness Worksheet or Life Workbook, is a great way to bring the power of your thoughts, good energy and a generous way to express your true feelings on paper. This journal can be used for writing down situations and how you have experienced them. These journals are good places to record your positive outlook, your goals for achieving a path to your truths and your daily affirmation. It can allow you to look at that information later for understanding inspiration and guidance.
Tips for Understanding Forgiveness
- Upon waking, write down the name of the person you are forgiving. Write down what it is you are forgiving them for.
- It is a good idea to write words such as I am, I can, I will.
- Write down your perception of the misunderstanding.
- Jot down significant words/phrases, that signify your mindfulness, today. “My partner”, “my great career”, “my respect for myself”.
- List what negative feelings you are still holding on to. Explain in your journal.
- Now learn about the power of letting go of these feelings. Write down each day, something new that you find forgiveness in doing, seeing, saying, hearing…
- Understand, it is now time to let go, which you do by____________________… (write them down). Look at it periodically. What impact does it have on your thoughts?
- Do you see failure as a stumbling block or a stepping stone to forgiveness? Find three things in forgiving that make it a stepping stone to the next level! List them now.
- Be sure and write the time and day on the top of the page.
- Make this journal your own! Buy or make a book that you are eager to go to each day. Use stickers, color, doodles that all express your journey to forgiving yourself and others.
- Our ability to forgive is in direct proportion to our ability to receive forgiveness.
- When we are able to forgive all parts of ourselves, this allows us to be that much more perfect and whole. This in turn helps us to forgive others for any past mistakes.
- Remember: mistakes come from good people who from time to time made some bad choices.
- Judgments, resentments and grudges are destructive emotions. When left unchecked, unresolved or not under control, they can wash away the foundation of any relationship
A wake-up call is in order! Talk it out. Resolve issues, disputes and misunderstanding by expressing your feelings in a calm, well thought out, civil conversation. Preferably in person. When we hurt ourselves we hurt each other. Learn to forgive yourself by releasing your guilt. Learn to forgive others by letting go of your ego. Remind yourself that we live in each other’s hearts and when we look at ourselves we see each other. When we love each other, we love ourselves more. Learn to understand the relief you gain from forgiveness. Step up to the plate and speak your peace. Forgiving is the ultimate in acceptance of yourself and others. It reveals a path to our true selves.